Goodbye and Hello…

Today was Ellie’s last day at her home daycare. I’ve been dreading this goodbye for weeks now–months even.  For so long, July 1 seemed so far away and now it’s here, looming on the horizon, less than four hours away.

I knew that saying goodbye to these wonderful women who have taken such good care of Ellie over the past two years would be incredibly hard and I hoped that I would be strong enough to get through the last day without crying.  Crying in front of others is such a hard thing for me. I think it goes back to all those growing up years where crying was definitely frowned upon. I’ve been much more prone to it since I’ve had a child and while I had hoped that I could hold it together at the daycare today as we said our goodbyes, let’s just say I’m really glad I decided to wear that waterproof mascara. 

I know that it’s a wonderful thing that Ellie is moving on to Preschool. Really, I do. It’s just so hard to believe that she’s 2 1/2. Seems like yesterday she was only this big.

7 months

7 months

And now she’s this big girl about to embark on a whole new adventure. She seems excited. We’ve been talking about school a LOT. She knows who her teachers are going to be and talks about them incessantly. She seems very happy about it all!

I'm going to the big girl school!

I'm going to the big girl school!

But, I know that she doesn’t really grasp the fact that she isn’t going to be seeing her other caretakers anymore except for the occasional visit. I’m sure she’ll be happy when she gets to her new school and suddenly has all these new kids to play with and all these new activities to engage in – Playdoh, circle time, face painting – but, at some point, I worry that she’s going to look around and wonder what happened to all the other kids and what happened to her caretakers. And when that happens, I won’t be there. 

And just thinking about that gives me a big pit in my belly.

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2 Responses to “Goodbye and Hello…”

  1. What ever thoughts and feelings she had (knowing this was some time ago now) when she remembers her caretakers etc the memories of them will be a blessing she will carry probably her whole life. Fortunately we remember those who positively impact our early years with their love and kindness and hopefully reflect that impact with our kind treatment of others.
    It is wonderful to know there are mothers such as you who care so deeply and are as all mothers should be, so giving of love to their children unconditionally and I’m sure you will reap the harvest of that love in a perfectly adjusted confident happy child…
    Another great post!!

    …Chris …

  2. […] to believe since it feels like yesterday that I was feeling sooo anxious about her first day of preschool.  It also feels like yesterday that her response to any question you asked was a demure […]

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